Talking to Children About Mental Health: Age-Appropriate Tips for Caregivers

Mental health is just as important as physical health, yet conversations around it can still feel difficult—especially when it comes to children and young people. Parents, caregivers, and educators often wonder how to approach the topic in ways that are age-appropriate, supportive, and reassuring. The good news is that children are often more open to discussing mental health than we might expect, especially when those conversations are guided by care, curiosity, and honesty. This blog post explores why mental health conversations with children matter, when to have them, and how to speak in ways that help young people feel heard, understood, and empowered.

Why Mental Health Conversations Matter

Just like adults, children experience a range of emotions—sadness, anxiety, frustration, joy, and everything in between. Learning how to identify and express these feelings is an essential part of development. Conversations about mental health support emotional literacy, help kids build coping skills, and reduce stigma (Reupert et al., 2012).

Early mental health education can also make a difference in identifying emerging difficulties. Half of all lifetime mental health conditions start before the age of 14 (Kessler et al., 2007), yet many children don’t receive support until much later. When children understand that mental health is part of everyday wellbeing, they are more likely to speak up when they’re struggling—and to seek help when needed.

Start with Everyday Emotions

You don’t need to wait for a crisis to begin a conversation. Mental health talks can start early and evolve naturally. Start by naming everyday emotions: “You look really disappointed—do you want to talk about it?” or “It’s okay to feel nervous when you try something new.”

Using simple language and drawing connections between thoughts, feelings, and behaviours helps children develop insight into their internal experiences. Tools like emotion charts or storybooks can be especially useful with younger kids (Laurie, 2019).

Model emotional expression by sharing your own feelings, too. For example: “I had a stressful day at work today, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths to help myself calm down.” This normalises emotional ups and downs and demonstrates healthy ways to cope.

Create a Safe and Supportive Environment

Children are more likely to open up when they feel emotionally safe. That means listening without judgement, validating their feelings, and being mindful of how your reactions may influence their willingness to share.

Avoid dismissing or minimising their concerns, even if they seem small from an adult perspective. Statements like “You’ll be fine” or “There’s nothing to worry about” can unintentionally shut down conversation. Instead, try reflective listening: “That sounds really hard. Do you want to talk more about it?”

It’s also helpful to let children know they’re not alone. You might say, “Lots of people feel anxious sometimes. It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you—it just means you’re human.”

Tailor the Conversation to the Child’s Age

How you speak about mental health will depend on the child’s age, maturity, and understanding. For younger children (ages 4–7), focus on simple explanations and concrete examples. For instance, “Sometimes our brains feel tired or worried, just like our bodies do.”

For older children and teens, more nuanced conversations are appropriate. You might discuss topics like stress, anxiety, depression, or social media in more depth. Encourage open dialogue, ask questions, and invite their thoughts. Teens especially value autonomy, so it’s important to avoid lecturing and instead engage in collaborative conversations.

Resources like the Kids Helpline and Headspace websites provide excellent age-appropriate information that can support these talks (Headspace, 2023).

What If They’re Struggling?

If your child expresses signs of distress—like ongoing sadness, changes in sleep or appetite, withdrawal from activities, or talk of hopelessness—it’s important to take them seriously. Reassure them that they’re not in trouble and that help is available. Say things like: “Thank you for telling me. You’re not alone, and we’ll figure this out together.”

Let them know that talking to a psychologist can be a helpful next step. Framing therapy as a normal and supportive part of health care (like going to the doctor) can reduce fear or shame. And remember: if you’re unsure, it’s okay to seek professional guidance yourself.

Final Thoughts

Talking to young people about mental health isn’t a one-time event—it’s an ongoing conversation. By making mental health part of everyday language, modelling emotional awareness, and creating a safe space for open dialogue, we help children build lifelong resilience.

These conversations are not about having all the answers. They’re about being present, listening well, and reminding children and young people that it’s okay to not be okay—and that support is always available.

References

Australian Psychological Society. (2018). Tips for talking with children about mental health. Retrieved from https://psychology.org.au/

Headspace. (2023). Talking to young people about mental health. Retrieved from https://headspace.org.au/

Kessler, R. C., Berglund, P., Demler, O., Jin, R., Merikangas, K. R., & Walters, E. E. (2007). Lifetime prevalence and age-of-onset distributions of DSM-IV disorders in the national comorbidity survey replication. Archives of General Psychiatry, 62(6), 593–602. https://doi.org/10.1001/archpsyc.62.6.593

KidsMatter. (2012). Information for families: Talking to children about mental health. Australian Government Department of Health and Ageing. Retrieved from https://www.kidsmatter.edu.au/

Laurie, J. (2019). Brave: A little book about big feelings. Little Steps Publishing.

Reupert, A., Maybery, D., & Kowalenko, N. (2012). Children whose parents have a mental illness: Prevalence, need and treatment. Medical Journal of Australia, 196(7), 602–604. https://doi.org/10.5694/mja10.11200

World Health Organization. (2021). Mental health and substance use: Child and adolescent mental health. Retrieved from https://www.who.int/